....what do you see...

As you go through your day and slip from one challenge to the next, what's your view? Do you see things in the minute, the detailed, the of-the-moment? Or do you concentrate on the vast, the long-term, the big picture? And which view is healthier?

Is it better to concentrate on the finite or the infinite?

Anyone who knows me well will tell you these things about me: I am super-organized, I am a little OCD, I am detail oriented, I am a planner, I like things in their own time and place.
And, anyone who knows me well will also tell you that because of the above, I have struggled with an impossible desire for perfection and the shock of my child's disability.

But today I concentrate on more of the 'me' stuff...the ways I cause myself more trouble than needed. Those little quirks and tendencies that left unchecked cause me to make things more difficult and stressful than they need to be.

When you wake up in the morning, do you already know what the day will hold, or are you excited for the possibilities of the unknown?

I have spent the greater portion of my life as a list maker and calendar filler extraordinaire. That is, up until my son was born. And then...shock to the system. Irretrievable data loss and memory purge...and all of a sudden no calendar could cover all the events and no list could contain all the needs. Life with my son is simply a matter of 'rolling with the punches'. Every day is totally new and totally unexpected and will no doubt throw me for multiple loops.

And just this past week I finally got "it"! Planning the future is a waste of emotional energy!

See, here's the thing...imagine for a moment that you are me. The phone rings, you/I answer and there is news. Good, bad, neutral...whatever...news. Immediately you/I begin to process the news, compartmentalizing it into nice sizeable chunks. What will happen...how will you/I deal...what to do about it???

Okay, now step back...look, see, there I am freeze-framed in my emotional messiness... Don't you just want to pick me up, shake me and say "chill out, calm down, nothing is changing right this moment!" ?

Thanks for the well-meaning...but there's no need. Because, you see, I've finally done just that to myself!

The phone rang, I answered, and there was the news. Now I'll grant you, in the broad scheme of things yes, it was bad news. But not life-ending, emotional havoc, pack up and flee bad news. And as I listened and felt the usual surge of panic and ovewhelming need to plan it all out...I did the mental 'block pass' and said no to my own emotional overload. For the first time I saw the big picture and realized that nothing was changing that very moment or any time in the near future. For the first time I realized what it meant to file something away for a later date . I don't have to plot out the whole situation...I don't have to prepare for every eventuality and conversation and scuffle. Emotional strength is defined in the ability to face down the challenge in the moment of the battle, not in advance of the battle.

So my newly turned over leaf means that while I recognize the potential for trouble brewing in the future-scape, I no longer need to make it my focus in the present.

Are you allowing the future to have possibility or are you creating it with a pre-conceived mold of what you fear it will be?