The 9th In-ning...

 Hello, World!

Rounding the bases (or, rounding out my base...yep, working on that weight gain!) as I head into the 9th!  I finally hit that 20lb. mark and was practically puffed up with pride...until I heard a funny rumor about this guy whose belly shakes like a bowlful of jelly who's supposed to be showing up at the end of the month.  And he's bringing gifts?!?  How am I supposed to compete with that???  All I've got is these dimples...

Mami says that I'm a "blink and you'll miss it" baby.  Every day I'm leaning how to do new things...sometimes so quickly that she feels like she missed my "firsts"!  What can I say?  I'm trying to catch up to that Big Bro of mine!

Just when Mami perfected her puree presentation, I decided that finger foods were more my style.  After all, I've got these chompy bits in my mouth that crave the crunch!  My favorite foods are the freeze-dried fruit bits from Trader Joes. Thankfully, my staff keeps me well-stocked.  Though they have some weird rituals around when I'm permitted the yum-yums.  There's this whole thing about taking a nap first...for just a few moments with your hands folded, at the table.  And then I'm expected to voluntarily sip from the noxious "vitamins" straw.  And...on top of that indignity?  They only let me have the goods after I get through the bads...read also: pretty much anything that isn't my precious dried fruit.  I've tried faking them out with the whole bag of tricks: gagging, spitting, hiding... Natch.  None of it works. Woe is me!

Meanwhile, Mami keeps repeating this nugget "food before one is just for fun".  Hey, lady?  Where exactly is the fun in asparagus, cause I looked and didn't find it?!?  I'm thinking we could just stick with the nursing and the fruit from here on out.

 I've been working on my fancy footwork lately.  I like to put it in cruise control and zip about the house...especially when the guard-cat is on the move.  She's shared all her hiding places with me, so I always know where to find her.  When she's not up for a game of tag, I usually busy myself taking all the books out of the bookshelf, or yanking Mami's kitchen tools off of the hooks on the butcher block.  What can I say?  The "no no don't touch" items are soooo much more appealing that my box of toys.

Speaking of things that don't appeal to me?  Sleeping through the night tops the chart.  I mean, think about all the things I might miss if I'm asleep: twinkly stars, midnight cat zooms, Mami's dark undereye circles and zombie impressions!

Oh, did I forget to mention? I'm working on my keynote speech.  Now that I've mastered both Aaaaaaaaaaaaah and Mamamamamama, I'm expanding my talent portfolio and hiring out for guest-speaker positions.  I've a whole range of topics I'm an expert on:

• How to cry your way out of a crib
• Grin and bare it:diaper removal before they can get your pants on 
• Behind the magic show:how to make the veggies disappear
• Bathtime is for tidal waves
• The fine art of the crumple lip and how to harness its power

Let my management know you heard about it here when you schedule your first booking and they'll be sure to include a free pack of wipes!  Just don't forget my backstage rider: freeze dried bananas and raspberries are non-negotiables!

Welp!  I've run out of time for this update.  Naptime, it seems, has snuck up on me again.

I'm not tired!

I'm not tired!

I'm not...zzzzzzzzzz...