April: Behind us in allyship...

 For far too long, the “role” of Autism Advocate (particularly during the month of April) has been played by individuals who are not Autistic.

While there is certainly merit to advocacy by those outside the community, we need to acknowledge that their reality is that of an ally and to “play-act” at advocate far too often counteracts or even demolishes the exhausting work of true Autistic advocates.

As so many other Autistics have “said” in their own ways I, too, say this:

“You do not speak for me.

You can not speak for me.

Please stop attempting to fit my needs and my divergence into boxes that suit your neurotypical understanding.”

~~~

What I have seen, year after year, is the voice of my community silenced…spoken over…misrepresented…poorly translated…

What I have seen, year after year, is the neurotypical discomfort with the Autistic response because we don’t write-speak-gameplay in ways that neurotypicals understand or value.

What I have seen, year after year, is the righteously indignant rise up in horrifically abusive manner to “correct”, re-write, or purposefully misinterpret the emotional labor of the Autistic community…all in the name of awareness and advocacy.

• The therapists quick to violate Hipaa by volunteering up “evidence” of their patients’ need to be spoken for and infantilized in intentionally heart-warming, self-congratulating posts that always seem to feature a “poor, misunderstood child” and the therapist as the “only person to reach them”.
• The “autism-moms” who offer up their sacrificial lives in humble brags, complete with privacy-violating photos and films of their children in their most vulnerable and overwhelmed moments. Sharing, without informed consent:the faces, detailed diagnoses, locations/schools/doctors’ offices/homes of their “little warriors” with the online world with pleas for “likes” or “mail for the friendless”.
• The corporations and businesses that fund their vacation packages on the bankruptcy filings of desperate parents searching for the easy button, ramping up their fear-mongering posts and using our very expressions and mannerisms against us.
• The “non-profits” that present their empty coffers and empty hands at the end of every checkout line, with a promise that their works helps “Autism Families”.

What I have also seen, year after year…

Is the work of the Autistic community and its many, many members who continue to put time and energy and effort into translating themselves and their actual needs and wishes into something that the neurotypical world will be able and willing to understand:  

Silenced

Spoken over

Shamed

Abused

Ignored

Harassed

What I have seen…

Are the posts and creative work of Autistics pushed back and tamped down by a deluge of non-Autistic “takes” on what the Autistic experience is.

What I have seen…

Is the social media blue-light special telling Us, the Autistics, that we should be grateful that so many want to speak for us. That our words are not enough, and we should be thankful that others are so willing to share their side of our Autistic experience. That we should feel empowered by their “intended allyship” that centers on how hard we make their daily lives.

What I have seen…

Are my own words and my own efforts twisted back on me, as non-Autistics use their situational-translation-services to rework my writing into something that better supports their own ego-feeding saviorism.

What I have seen…

Are my successes and accomplishments broken down into “therapeutic skill sets”...”achievement unlocked”...as desperate parents and caregivers see my work and want to believe that my individual experiences can be glorified as “HOPE” for their own children.

~Full Stop~

My mother wrote recently:

“What a perfect moment in time it is to sit silently, with open ears and open hearts, and to listen to and learn from those who are living in the world we've created.”

That’s what we, the Autistic community, are asking for.

Please listen to us…please focus on our words and our artworks and our emotional output.

Please amplify our work.

Please allow us, the Autistic, to advocate for ourselves.

Through your silence…

your listening…

your accommodations…

your acceptance…

your inclusion…

your open hearts…

your allyship…

Stand behind us and help us defend our own rights to be seen/heard/recognized/believed.