“Having autism”
It’s not like ‘having a cold’ or ‘having a pet.’ We just ARE. The having implies that it’s something extra, something transient. It’s about as effective in dismissing actual facts as the phrase, “with Autism.” Again, it’s not some accessory or aesthetic. It’s just us.
“Differently abled”
A “happy feel good” term gaining steam in recent years, this implies that we don’t live in a society that only values typical superficial interactions. We very much do. Instead of using ‘disability’, which highlights the very real truth of the autistic experience, the term “differently abled” implies some sort of trade-off of skills or talents…or abilities. By current standards, we are disabled. Our level and areas of function differ from neurotypicals. We are not X-Men with abilities that differ from those of the standard-model human experience. Sensory processing differences so common within the autistic community are not, in fact, akin to super-hearing or the gift of prophecy (by means of hyper awareness to sensory stimuli).
“Autism Epidemic”
Language matters…as should be abundantly clear from the emphasis you’ll surely have noted in all our recent posts. Language choice matters. Borrowing terminology from virology-based medicine and applying it to a neurodevelopmental disorder is, simply put, fearmongering at its best. The term epidemic is indicative of disease.
Furthermore, the rise in Autism diagnoses isn’t because of more Autistic individuals. It’s because diagnostic methods have improved, and the standards by which tests are gauged have become much more fine-tuned…due, in large part, to the inclusion of Actual Autistic voices in data compilation regarding the Autistic experience at all stages of life.
Let’s take a brief moment for a history lesson. Autism, as a diagnosis, did not exist in the way we understand it, for most of human history. Even as recently as the 1970’s, autism was viewed as a social/mental/emotional deviation caused largely by “refrigerator mothers”. (Yes, that theory is as ridiculous as it sounds) Shame-based exploitation of the autistic population such as this absolutely canceled out the seeking of diagnosis. Generally, when something is no longer ‘othered’ in society, there’s an increase in statistical data. Not because of trends or external causes. It’s just people being themselves. Lest you forget, left-handedness was shamed, punished and “corrected” in previous decades because of misinterpretations regarding etymology and being viewed as outside the norm.
“Autism Mom/Dad”
Simply put…your child’s diagnosis is not your identity.
Read that again.
Your child's diagnosis is not your identity.
It is understood that:
*you need a way to clarify to others that your child (and therefore you as their support person) is in need of accommodations
*your participation in even the most mundane things may be limited or altered due to your child’s needs and/or your emotional/mental/physical/monetary energy after seeing to his/her needs
*you want to spread awareness and inspire acceptance
*you feel your life has been altered from what it might have been, by your child’s diagnosis
*your resources are likely stretched thinner by the specific needs of your child
*you occasionally want sympathy or empathy
*you feel your situation in life is made more unique by the caring for of a disabled child
*you are tired…of appointments, of therapies, of medication schedules, of hospital visits, of rotating care-givers, of meetings, of overreach, of emergencies, of damage, of replacing, of…of..of.. You are tired, and parents of “typical” children cannot even conceive of that level of exhaustion
It is understood.
We understand.
But the diagnostic terminology that defines how your child moves through this world is not a super-hero’s cloak, a physical identifier (as in: blue eyes, tall, blonde hair), their sole defining characteristic…
Or…
Yours to misappropriate.
It does not define you.
It does not explain you.
It is not yours.
Language matters.
Growing and learning when we are provided new, updated information matters.
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