...nourish to flourish...

 From our team:

In the midst of our week-long focus on mental/emotional health in honor of World Mental Health Day, it’s time to talk about self-care.

It’s a term that’s gained immense popularity in recent years, particularly in a world where “influencers” make bank off of cleverly constructed suggestions that a particular product or service, in the guise of “self-care”, will heal something in you.

(The manipulation that launched a thousand shopping addictions and bankruptcies, no doubt!)

But true self-care, the work of healing and then properly supporting, has nothing to do with pitches and sales, and everything to do with developing confidence, becoming resilient, breaking toxic patterns and healing your inner child.  

Self-care is the work of caring for yourself as you would for a loved one.

For some, that’s going to be as simple as incorporating new habits and practices into the daily schedule: finding pockets of time to devote to self-soothing and development.

For others, self-care will seem more laborious, as they endeavor to face trauma, acknowledge toxic traits, and persist through the trials of finding new, functional systems for daily life.

Compiled below, our tips for self-care: from self-assessing to self-reckoning,

from self-soothing to self-challenging, and everything in between!

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Ways to take care of mental health:

1. Take things slowly, one by one:

1. If necessary, make a list

2. Prioritize, relentlessly.  Not every action item is equally important

3. Pick away at your workload, section by section. Finishing one thing will often give you the confidence to tackle another. And, in some cases, just getting started on one thing is enough to boost your endorphins a bit.

2. Plan ahead.

1. Create a schedule of your most highly prioritized tasks and activities, so that when something unexpected and stressful comes along, it doesn’t impact you as greatly.  Remember to keep it flexible enough to do what you enjoy, but rigid enough that what’s important gets done.

2. Having a set schedule or routine provides a healthy framework for both expectations (of self and others) and boundaries. 

3. Factor recovery time into your schedule.  Our brains need time to process excess stimulation.

3. Set boundaries. It’s important to not expose yourself to things that cause you harm and anxiety, be they events, or people in your life. Trying to just take it in stride will inevitably come back to get you.

1. Tune in to what your non-negotiables are and practice saying “No” to them.

2. Assess how activities and interactions make you feel.

3. Try temporary “time outs” with scenarios and people that you find yourself struggling with.  Push pause for a day/week/month and see if you begin to feel more stable.

4. Determine if limited contact or no-contact is safer for you. Remember that you alone get to set the rules of who has access to you.

4. Focus on things you enjoy. As with planning ahead, and setting boundaries, try to find something you truly enjoy doing, especially if you haven’t done it in a while. Embrace what you find fun!

1. Think back to hobbies that brought you joy when you were younger.  Are there ways to explore/incorporate them now?

2. Push yourself to try a few new things in the pursuit of finding joy.

3. Consider participating in social learning opportunities.

4. Make time for your healthy hobbies and ask those in your life to support you in taking time to develop them further.

5. Add things you enjoy doing to your weekly planner

5. Develop your self-expression.

1. Try new forms, whether art or writing or even physical sport.  

2. Let what inside, out…in creative form, so your body can work through the physical feeling of emotion

6. Work on physical health to support your mental/emotional health.

1. Schedule and attend health appointments

2. Fuel your body with healthy food choices, and try to limit those items that create extreme highs and lows.

3. Keep active. Exercise in ways that feel safe and comfortable every day.

4. Schedule your medications and your reminders, and create a workable system for staying on top of your medication needs. If necessary, ask for help from a trusted support person. 

7. Place limits on “high calorie, no nutritional content” entertainments so you don’t wind up “too busy” to fulfill your obligations or enjoy meaningful activities and relationships.

1. Limit screen-time when necessary and possible. 

2. Limit social-media scrolling

3. Consider turning off comments or hiding “likes” if you find yourself obsessing over how your own content is received.

4. Remember that screen content (games, shows, social media) are carefully selected/filtered/scripted moments and not an accurate reflection of real life.

5. Don’t compare yourself or your life to the snippets you see on screen.

8. Develop a healthy relationship with yourself

1. Speak kindly to yourself and silence the unnecessary critic

2. Hold yourself accountable for those action items you’ve prioritized

3. Avoid comparisons to others

4. Share your accomplishments and successes with trusted friends and family

5. Foster your resilience with regular reminders of those things you’ve already overcome. 

9. Consider talk therapy

1. The ability to be able to reflect on your experiences and emotions is important.

2. Therapists can see the big picture reflected by your (natural) focus on the small details that are troubling you, and help direct you through them.

3. Therapists can help you develop new, successful ways to adapt and cope.

4. The therapeutic process helps to develop and/or heal your inner voice, as you practice assessment/acknowledgment and self-directed challenge

5. Understand that not all therapists are created equal and be ready/willing/able to keep trying until you find one with whom you are comfortable

6. Therapy puts you back in the driver’s seat of your own life, as your therapist helps guide you through your feelings and reactions and provides you with tools to recenter.

7. If you’re feeling too high-strung, and on the cusp of a crisis, it’s especially beneficial, serving as something of a redirection.
   
   

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For those of you who struggle with guilt regarding self-care, answer this question: What greater gift can you give to those you love than your own wholeness?” – Shannon Tanner