WOW: Revision - Thursday

A quick refresher: 

Revision:

re·vi·sion

rəˈviZHən/

noun

-the action of revising

-a revised edition or form of something.

plural noun: revisions

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My life hasn't gone according to plan.

No big revelation there...at least not to anyone who's been reading along.

Life didn't turn out the way I dreamt it would when I was a teenager.

I didn't turn out the way I  was once so very sure I would.  

You remember being a teenager, don't you?  That sudden leap from childhood to something else.  That all-encompassing pressure from parents, teachers, guidance counselors. All those choices and responsibilities suddenly in your hands.  Big decisions to be made.  Big, life-altering decisions.  There you are, barely holding your own against puberty and hormones and mean-girls, and all of a sudden everyone expects you to snap your fingers and make a choice.  Pick a life.  Just pick one.  Pick a path...a destination.  Where do you want to go to college?  What will you major in?  Pick a life and apply to it.  Cross your fingers and hope you get it...get in... 

And there you are in the middle of this chaos, trying to think straight and make the best choice.  There are  discussions, and lists, and late night phone calls with your besties.  There are panic-attacks and doubts and fingers crossed.  And mail.  There is mail.  Thick envelopes and skinny ones.  Notifications of receipt.  Requests for more paperwork.  Your postal carrier is your new therapist. 

Everyone else is doing it.

So, you do it.

You lift your bow and arrow and take aim, sending it whizzing off to that giant target of life, and hope against all odds it will land on a good one. 

Choice.  Made.  

Life. Picked.

And off you go.  New horizons. New relationships. New lessons.  And new choices.

New choices all the time.

Sometimes you make the right ones.  Sometimes not.  Sometimes you're like me...making all the right choices for all the wrong reasons, and all the wrong choices for all the right reasons.  

And along the way you lose.  You lose bits and pieces of who you were and what you dreamt.  You lose some of your bravado, and some of your confidence.  You lose innocence, and you lose time.  

There will come a day, or perhaps it's already been and gone, where all you lost and all you never became  suddenly looms right before your eyes.  Failure, and regret, and doubt.  

There will come a day when you realize that life hasn't gone according to plan.

Don't worry...plans made at 16 and 17 are never firm.
Plans made in youthful expectation are just the first draft.

And that's ok.
The story isn't ever over until the life is.  Which means there's ample opportunity to revise as you go along.  That hopeful shot in the dark you made at some point along the way had a  50/50 chance.  And now that you know the outcome, you can make a change. Any moment...any day...any time...you can change your plans.  You can change your mind.  You can change your life. 

It may not be easy, but revision never really is.  It's not simply a matter of cancelling out what went before and starting fresh. It's more about honouring the past and reshaping the future.  Leaving the indentations behind in the paper, while erasing the marks. Revision is allowing the chapter to go a different way, without changing the whole book.