...i love you more than...

"I love you more than lobster.", I told my son this evening.  He'd had a trying day at school.  His Chromebook was appropriated by school officials after another student changed the title of his copied document to something both impolite and inappropriate.He came home in an emotional whirlwind of anxiety, humiliation and outrage.  Needless to say, I jumped right  onto his bandwagon once I got the full story out of him.  Mama Lion...party of one?!?

(Long phone convo...waiting on the outcome of the investigation tomorrow.  Less than effective administration.  Grrr!)

Discussion ended and my interest sated, we moved on to homework and home-fun...but the mood remained dreary.  He has an impossible way with problems...worrying on them as if a dog with a bone.  Concerned about the investigation.  Worried about the outcome.  Fearful of being punished for something he had not done.  Scared of his mother's wrath if she didn't believe him.

(I believe him.  Not because I'm his mother.  Not because I love him.  But because I know him.  I know his capabilities and his limits.  And this...this goes well past his limits...)

He curled up on the bed with Henry and Katja, blanket over his head...the very picture of defeat.

I stood there for a moment, feeling helpless.  

Then I sat down suddenly, threw my arms around the lump that was him and whispered "I love you more than lobster."  "I love you more than lobster, and pretty things, and candy.  I love you more than hot coffee in the morning.  I love you more than good books at night.  I love you more than I know how to."

His head slowly, ever so slowly, peeked out of the top of the blanket.  He squirmed his way further out of the blanket, further out of the bed, and further into my arms.  All 12 years of him...all 5'6" and 110 lbs of him... In my arms and on my lap.  And he said to me " I love you more than Transformers, and Legos and Henry and Katja and Dr. Who, and mac'n'cheese all combined up.  I love you more than you love me."

I smiled.  And I let him win.  

(Because, of course, I know that's impossible.  I'm his mami...I'll always love him more.)

~Leanna