...tame or wild...

We received quite the outpouring of support last week via texts, calls, emails and comments in regards to this post about bullying.  I'm so very grateful to each and every one of your for your concern, love and suggestions.  I'm glad I didn't stop myself short of writing and submitting those words...they were genuine expressions of how I truly felt and continue to feel.  I'm sickened by the way some children behave...and by the seeming lack of concern or involvement their parents have over what I deem troubling warning signs.  To be forced into the position of having to teach my special-needs 8 year old child how to defend himself against physical attacks goes against everything I want him to believe in.  And to have his view of education colored so negatively by these attacks angers me more than I care to admit.  He is such a bright and curious child with such and aptitude and thirst for learning...I absolutely hate watching that wither away in the face of these bullying occurrences.

It's important to me though, that I follow up with all of you and let you know how things played out.  After my phone call to the school, they followed their established protocols and interviewed Mister Man in a roomful of adults.  After establishing his side, they then did the same with both the girl who had attacked him and a classmate of Mister Man's who witnessed the event.  Apparently the girl went the foreseeable route and lied about the whole thing.  But the classmate's version matched Mister Man's, and the principle and staff made it clear they believed him.  So the girl in question lost her recess privileges and had to write an apology note to Mister Man.  Additionally, Mister Man's seat was moved to the back of the bus where he is now surrounded by 5th grade buddies as an effort to protect him. 

Ok, fairly cut and dry.

A few problems though.

1)  The apology note?  I'm not sure if it was scripted or prompted or actually written out by the girl herself, but good gosh the wording was kind of scary.  One line in particular threw me off... "It's just sometimes I lose control of myself. I get mean.   I don't know why." 

 Ummm...really?  Did any of the school staff read that???  Considering last year's temporary expulsion nonsense that we went through, I'm suprised those words made it to our home.  I don't think I'm over-reacting in my response...that statement give cause for question.  I'd take a long hard look at that child and send her off to the guidance office for starters.

Losing Control?  Getting Mean?  Not Knowing Why? 

Keep her away from my son.

2) Forcing a bunch of 5th graders to essentially babysit my child on the bus?  Yeah, that's gonna go over superbly.  Let's face it people, 5th graders consider that bus ride social hour.  You've just succeeded in making my son an inconvenience to them.  Oh, and considering his autism and the massive social/communication issues he has...way to go, you've just thrown him into a virtual lion's den of communication.   He has nothing to offer in 5th grade experience, and he feels the difference. 

Brilliant plan there.

3)  Really?  She loses recess for a few days?  For striking another person repeatedly with a metal object?  Last I checked that does actually sound like physical attack with a weapon.  Metal hurts people.  It leaves cuts and bruises.  And it's scary...being attacked unprovoked.  So losing recess?  Yeah, not exactly a punishment to fit the crime.

Now listen, I realize that in reading this some of you may be shaking your heads wondering why I sound so extreme.  But here's the deal.  Mister Man has been the victim of bullying multiple times over in this school.  I'm thrilled to know that come the end of the school year I am getting him the heck out of there...but in the meantime, he's scared to be on the bus, scared to be on the playground, scared to wait on lines.  And aside from literally standing next to him all day long at school, there's little I can effectively do to make him feel at ease.  That's the school's responsibility, and in my opinion, they aren't even coming close to fulfilling it. 

The day that I had to take my son in hand and physically teach him how to fight back for when flight is not an option, is the day his school failed him.