...back away from the magnified mirror...

Among other things I struggle with on a daily basis is the big one...self confidence, or in my case an extreme lack of it. The only time I really remember loving myself full on was right after I had my son...looking down at that perfect being and knowing it came of me...wow...

One of my efforts to combat my recognizably-untrue vision of myself is posting to ST in Threadstyle. Isn't it funny that when we look at pictures of others we automatically take in the whole, but when we see one of ourself we view it in bits and pieces?
The other day I was reading on fellow blogger Chiara's Forever Out Of Place and followed her advice to read more of Already Pretty. What a refreshing read...a woman, speaking honestly, about the quirky ways in which women see themselves. Check out some of her postings on body image and try, as I am, to embrace the wisdom in them.

And then yesterday my dear friend Jen, who in my book is the Queen of Confidence, sent on a bit of wisdom she had found:
“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:
This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you." (Copyright © 2000 Stacey Charter)

So what's my take of the day?
...we (insert I) are so concerned with how others see us that we can't see what others see in us...

I'm so focused on what I see as flaws...the size of my nose and mouth, the colour of my skin, the size of my bustline...that I am incapable of seeing the whole. What a surprise it is then to catch out of the corner of my eye a reflection in the windows as I stroll down the street and compliment the elegant graceful image...only to realize...that's me.

And while that sounds like a positive step forward, I know I've a long ways to go.

Meanwhile:

Does this Halloween Fairy Princess Mask make my nose look big?!?

...nothin' but grey skies...

We all know there is something quite dismal in waking up to a rainy day. We crave that added jumpstart of sunlight in the morning...and when it's not there, no amount of caffeine will suffice.
After a gorgeous, mild weekend here, the past few days have been depressingly gray and drippy. I've had to really stretch my rainy-day-activity assortment, and I'm the first to admit, there isn't much left. After being cooped up all winter, we need the reprieve of warm sunny days.
Homeschooling has been an adventure. I've spent most of my son's life bouncing back and forth between being Mami one moment and being the special-needs therapy provider the next. Which was already a struggle...but well worth it. This year I got to add into the mix teacher, and boy, do I feel thinned out. I think it's hard to in one moment step back and assess without emotion, and the very next jump back into emotional loving mother mode. And then there's the frustration level...nope, not mine...the mister man's. Part of his makeup is that he gets easily frustrated...both with tasks and people. So here I am, trying to get in the lesson for the day, and the next thing I know my child has dissolved into a puddle of tears. :(
Homeschooling is easier for me when we have the outdoors to add into the lesson. We can take our education to the road...or rather, the woody path or sidewalk and observe 'real-life' examples. Last summer our daily walks took longer than ever when the mister man came around to the concept of street signs having familiar letters on them. How many people must have passed us in their cars wondering why we were sitting on the sidewalk staring up at the street sign?!?
So today...I'm working within my parameters and using the rainy day for all its worth: we're going to go sit outside with our measuring cups and hide under umbrellas while they fill up with rainwater. How better to prove that you can fit 3 1/3cups into 1 cup?!?

...blog-er-itis...

A few other blogs I check in on seem to have addressed the problem I'm facing by making it a Lenten requirement to post daily. While I know I could very well do the same, I'm quite certain I'd run out of interesting thoughts 7 days in and you the reader would be stuck with pictures of cats and ramblings about snow. So rather than give in to peer pressure, I'm once again mentally tying a ribbon round my finger to remind me to get on here more often.
At least I'm *trying* to be diligent in not boring you to tears, right? How well that's working is another matter...seeing as no one has been commenting lately.
I think this last blast of snow has frozen any creative part of my brain...even my crafts sit idly by, waiting for the thaw out. And all I really want to do is crawl back into bed, throw the covers over my head, and hunker down with the mister man until spring sunshine bursts in!