...as 19 fades...

"The clock's run down,

but hours left,

before it strikes its last.

Then 19 fades,

I'm left bereft,

to miss what's now your past.

Another one,

to take your place,

I'll meet by morning light.

A man of 20,

to replace,

the teen I kissed goodnight."

~~~

You.

Miracle of miracles.

Questioner. Challenger. Defender.

This year, beyond all others, has been your definer. I have seen firsthand the refining and polishing...the embracing of all your facets. I have watched you become wholly yourself.

I have held my breath as you took tentative steps in new directions, cheered myself hoarse as you received awards and recognitions, and paused to fully live in the beauty of your brotherhood.

You have challenged social constructs, outdated notions, and stigmas surrounding disability and bigotry.

You've used your experiences to ensure that others won't endure what you did.

You've opened up new worlds for those following in your footsteps.

You've lent your time/energy/intellect/skill to others' problems and causes.

You've devoted yourself to your little brother and molded yourself into everything he needs you to be on any given day.

I have watched in awe. I have loved you.

I will miss this you...this 19 year old you who shook it all off (all the hurt and pain and disappointment of years of bullying) and claimed his rightful place. Who chose himself and became himself. I will miss the late night chats and the silent exchanges over early morning brew. I will miss that little bit of awkward colt that still existed beneath the capable shoulders and snarky wit.

I will miss this you, like all the others gone before.

How lucky I have been, to be your mother.

My heart. My hero.