No. Really. It is.
The very act of compromising is based on giving in, giving up, or letting go.
Yeah, yeah, I know...it's all for the greater good and all that. Compromise is touted as the great mediator, the final resolution to end all disputes. People seek it out when conflict is getting the better of them. Corporations pay big money to hire fancy lawyers to make it happen at any cost. Even friends and families find themselves living in a flux state of day to day compromise.
Face it: In this 'modern age' of ours, we're handing in our wishes and dreams for a daily dose of compromise and not even counting the losses.
(Let me be clear. I'm not completely knocking it. There's plenty of dirty words out there that can be quite useful, possibly necessary and maybe even a little fun!)
Anyhow, getting back to the point...
Compromise is definitely another tool in our arsenal of social interactions. It's in there with all the other communicative devices: tone and eye contact and proximity. It's a way of making someone else feel heard, and understood and validated. Unfortunately, unlike some of the other tools like laughter and smiles...the implications are not so obvious. Honestly, the darn thing should just come with a warning label. It's got some major consequences after all. Something along the lines of:
"will directly cause some degree of disappointment"
or
"grand potential can become diminished by frequent use"
could be helpful. If people only knew that compromise is just a fancy way of saying 'trade in your high hopes for mediocre ones' I seriously doubt they'd be so eager to reach it.
The reality though is that we are raised to be compromisers...not fighters. We chasten the bickering toddlers and tell them to share the coveted object. We harp on the teenager to at least complete half of the assigned task. We cajole our employees or employers into giving in to constraints or expectations. We even strive for the 50/50 in our relationships.
When did it become ok to stop scrapping for what we really want out of life?
And when did it become ok to trade in hard work-planning-saving-education (or whatever the groundwork may have been) for only half of the dream?
Go ahead: 'google' it...I'm not the only one who thinks so...
This is a very interesting post, and it has given me somewhat of a new perspective on things, which I had not really pondered prior.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts with such care and passion behind them!
Liesl :)