26 February, 2008

...two days and counting...

How is it possible that in two short days the mister man will be 5? How is it possible that five years have passed?

Granted, I probably look 10 years older...what with the lack of sleep and soaring stress levels, but I don't really feel 5 years older. He, on the other hand, looks like a little man...sometimes it catches me by suprise...I suddenly look and see the big boy instead of my little baby. And despite having been there for every single minute of it, I wonder how the time snuck past me.

I mentioned to a friend that the minutes and the days seem SO LONG when you are a parent, but in contrast, the months just fly by. And now it seems the years are passing more swiftly also.

In two short days, I'll be mom to a five-year old....I wonder what this 6th year will bring...

23 February, 2008

...daddies and other unachievable dreams...

Yesterday our dear friend Alex came by to pick up a banquet table that I had offered up in a 'you or the dumpster' sort of a way. Yay...another aquisition of the ex's goes poof and disappears! In order to get it from my house to hers she enlisted the help of her friend Chris and his truck.

And upon his arrival, the mister man, who usually disappears from sight when visitors walk in, piped up 'Hi, I'm ___, let's play". Awwww! I swear he has spidey sense where testosterone is concerned. Chris, being a combo good sport, father to four of his own, and genuine all around nice guy (I know, I know, a vanishing species) spent about 45 minutes playing with my son afer we got the table into his truck. Alex and I just sat and chatted and listened as my son had the best time in ages.

*insert heartache*

When I put the mister man to bed last night, the bedtime ritual over, he drowsily hugged me and said 'he should come back to play...he can be my daddy'. Oooof...sucker punch to the gut.

And to make matters 'worse' or more heartwrenching I was informed this morning that what my son really wants for his birthday is "transformer tank, its green...and ice cream...and a daddy to play with...come on, let's go buy them at the store..."

...spiderwebs and sleeplessness...

Once again I'm ashamed to log onto the blogger page and see when last I posted. It seems I keep getting caught up in these blog-free slumps, where days or weeks go by and never once do I sit down and organize my thoughts. Granted, that may be due to the lack of 'deep thoughts' currently swirling throught my grey matter...but really, when has this ever been a forum for deep thinking?!?

Since before Christmas I've been struggling with fairly massive sleep issues...ranging from heart-pounding, pulse-racing anxiety attacks at 3am to full on days without end insomnia. Perhaps the mister man is sucking the sleep out of me? He seems to be doing fairly well with the concept of 'a body at rest tends to stay at rest' and is actually up to five hours at a time of solid sleep. Amazing! Last year at this time it was only about two hours before he'd thrash about.

At any rate, the effects of my sleeplessness run the gamut from diminished thought capacity to full on clumsiness. The other day the mister man and I were walking through a mini-blizzard to the grocery store and I quite literally walked straight into a tree. Face...meet Bark. A quick recovery and appraisal of the vicinity to make sure I'd had no audience, and off we went...only to have the mister man then tell everyone we ran into that 'Mami runs things over'. Brilliant.

Spring may be slow in poking its head out...but that isn't quelling the urge for the annual spring clean-out. Note the fact that I use clean-out, not cleaning. Every year around this time I find myself ready to toss out half of the contents of my house, and start fresh. Financial concerns being what they are, this urge is usually stopped in its tracks right after the first gimcrack or thingamajig has been tossed into the dumpster.

I'm ready to repaint...and have been ready for quite some time. But with spring on the way and warmer weather just around the corner...I'll be able to open the windows and do so. Of course the first step is taking down all the pictures and nails...and finally getting at a few of the cobwebs. Apparently the spiders are foregoing the front entrance and it's clear 'Keep Out' sign.

And this above...this is what happens when I sit down to write and haven't yet had enough coffee. Apologies.